THE MAGIC SEASON
BE CREATIVE. DELIGHT IN THE SURPRISES. ENJOY THIS TIME.
THE PRISON WALLS ARE OUT OF THE WAY
They created a firm boundary between our lives so far. Now more of our lives can naturally interact. Now is a time for creativity, surprises, and really just savoring the simplest experiences of life together.
Here are some recent stories that might inspire you.
Madeline heard JoeRay’s love of animals, his memories with a dog as a child. The two of them visited the humane society together. They learned of the need for volunteer dog-walkers. Madeline and JoeRay signed up to walk these caged animals each week, together, outdoors.
Wally began working with his family’s landscaping business. Erin talked with her family and they hired the family crew to come re-build their porch, and have dinner all together. This was the first month out.
Jaime was shy at the first Wednesday night dinner his One Parish One Prisoner team held with him at their tiny rural church. Then he started asking when the next one was. He reconnected with his son, Junior, recently out of jail himself and in his own reentry journey. So they both came to the dinners. And they both got jobs at the same company!
Now is the magic season. Where the distant handshake of our lives can become a more expansive embrace. Where we discover our shared life as a community. And we feel anew that the land of the living is better, more whole, when together.
Keep meeting as a team monthly—and with your released friend, to enjoy each other and remain a team for what’s next. There’s still several more months of learning and resurrection work ahead!
Lean in. Spend time together. Experiment. Have fun. It’s better to initiate now than react to problems later, when too much free time or new life pressures seem to push our friends back toward the familiar shadows.
PICK UP THE PHONE
“The hardest thing to do is to pick up that phone and call. That phone weighs a hundred pounds.”
That’s the struggle for so many men and women in transition from incarceration, or in addiction recovery: reaching out, asking for help. Just picking up the phone in your pocket to call people who already care about you. it’s hard.
Nate, a parish member, told Wally, at their first team meeting where Wally could join them in person, “I can understand you Wally, how hard it is to reach out.” Nate’s wife had a difficult surgery that season, and life was hard at home taking care of the children, with his partner in fragile recovery. He was ashamed to reach out to his team, his church, his community, to ask for help. To say he was struggling.
It’s not just those leaving the underground. Picking up that phone is a spiritual muscle we’re learning together.
Also: many parish members have told us that once their friend was released from prison . . . they never switched from prison letters/emails to ordinary calls!
“Oh yeah! I can just put their new cell number into my phone, and call or text them whenever I want now!”
That’s it. They’re not a prisoner anymore. They’re part of your community. Hit ‘em up.
Another parish member told us, “I don’t want to bother him, now that he’s busy with his new job and life and all.”
No! Bug him or her! These relationships are exactly what we’ve been building together. Otherwise they can feel unwanted, just a prisoner, a project, not a real relationship. Don’t be shy.
Pick up the phone.
DEPARTMENT OF CONNECTIONS
This is what this season is about. Connecting. Find any excuse. Be creative. Following up on many of the Stones to roll away can keep us in regular contact. And then magical conversations take place in the car, waiting in the office, at lunch afterwards.
Connections are also about finding ways to get others involved. Side jobs. A friend who has a shared hobby interest. Inviting your released friend to dinner or an activity with friends, with no agenda. Just come along. A meal with your family. Have fun with the awkwardness.
And always be on guard against the impulse to coach and correct.
You may have a valid concern, but who wants to be corrected?
Remember: they’ve just left the Department of Corrections. With you, they have entered the Department of Connections. If you aren’t putting time into the connection between you, you haven’t earned the right to offer correction yet.
Cultivate the connection so that when they face trouble, fresh problems, catch themselves in mistakes, they come to you and ask you, “What do you think I should do?” That’s the kind of connection we seek to build. That’s the magic.
It’s about a man out of prison and a volunteer assisting his reentry—and how it changes them both. It’s a quiet portrait of the unexpected poetry and mutual growth that happens in a relationship like this. It’s on Amazon Prime. Does someone in your group have an account?
Bring your released brother/sister. Discuss the questions below at your meeting together.
ACTION STEPS THIS WEEK
Put your friend’s new phone number in your phone.
Call them in the next two days.
Do something fun!
Watch the movie. Together, if possible. Discuss at your monthly meeting.
DISCUSSION AFTER THE MOVIE:
At the start, we see Martin as a somewhat flat character “helping” a population through a program. But what pieces of his life start to emerge from his personal underground? What needs of his own is he trying to manage?
How does Travis, the man starting his own life anew out of prison, interact with Martin’s personal life and issues?
What changes happen in both of them, because of their relationship?
Do you relate to any of the anxiety, frustration, or risk dramatized in this movie… with your own experience in reentry relationship so far?
Are you inspired to see your One Parish One Prisoner relationship differently? What do you want to try, do differently, or even imagine together?